Friday, February 7, 2014

The Smell of the Herd

Ok... I've been debating on writing this post, and I've decided it must be done.... I know I cannot possibly be the only mom battling this out there!!! The Herd's obsession with potty language (not cuss words.... Like actual giggling discussions about Number One and Number Two) AND bodily functions is stinking up my house... Figuratively and literally.

I'm at a loss here.... I've always tried to teach them NOT to pass gas in font of other people... And now.... It's a game. Like, a battle of epic proportions. They hold each other down and sit on each other while they do it... They try to sneak SBDs (silent but deadly, for those not in the know) and blame each other while laughing, but them proudly take credit for them... Sometimes even arguing over who did it so they can BRAG about it. They play "Turtle".... Either alone or together... By where they pass gas under a blanket and see who can stand the stench the longest... It's simply awful. And what's even worse is the GIRLS, mainly The Princess, have gotten in on the act. It's not just the BOYS anymore... They've even taught LLL to say "Poot"... And when she does, they all dissolve into fits of hysterical laughter. so she's started saying it in public to strangers and grinning to get a reaction out of them. My car STINKS from their explosions.... More than my car that hauls four kids plus their junk normally stinks... I think the interior is stained. I may have to just leave the windows down indefinitely.... And the house seems like it has a fog that just hangs here... Hideous I know, and now you will never want to come to our house!!! Guests enter at their own risk anyways... no matter how hard I work on cleaning up and make them clean up, toys are still everywhere.

I've tried talking to them about why its impolite to talk about that in public... It's nothing to be ashamed of, for sure, but it's not a pleasant topic for conversation... I've punished them in multiple and various ways... Nothing is helping! While I do realize that this is a completely normal stage... I remember whenmy brother and I went through it... They feed off of each other and I feel like they have mutinied against me.... And I'm not used to losing control of this ship.... Or at least complete control over something. 

For those of you who know me well, it's not that I'm easily grossed out.... I cloth diapered three of the kids from infancy to potty-training, which is NOT for the feint of heart... And I've dealt with an endless stream of disgusting messes from ALL of these people (look up The Worst Diaper Explosion in History to be thoroughly horrified) but for some reason this has sent me over the edge!!! It's constant, and from all sides. And the High Roller does nothing to help in this matter.... He thinks it's hilarious. And it kind of is... For awhile.... But disgusting!!  I mean, I don't like bullying at all.... But I kind of hope they do it at school and some kid embarasses them into submission over it... One of the positives of social peer pressure. 

Have you or ARE you dealing with this in your house right now?!?! What should I do to make them cut it out?!? Save my sanity.... And my nose.