Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Rebirth in Running

For some reason, the rare winter storm's snow inspired me to go for a run tonight for the first time in two months. Longest running hiatus ever for me. I've been in a weird funk that's left me very unmotivated, so when the compulsion hit me to go for a run, I acted on it. It was COLD. I've run in colder temperatures, but I think the ice and snow everywhere made it even colder. A damp cold. I forced myself to push start on my watch and sprint off. My legs became sore pretty quickly, but it was a good sore... The kind that lets you know you're alive and that your body is working hard. Anytime I've ever taken a running break of any kind, that first run back's pain is an affirmation that I'm still a runner and that my body CAN do this... And also a sort of penance for neglecting myself and the roads for so long. The cold burned my face and lungs... My hands became rigid with stiffness from the cold... But I pushed on and reveled in the experience. It was strange running on icy roads... My legs had to work harder to keep traction and remain stable. I'm not sure if it was this struggle or the cold that made my legs feel like lead after a mile, or maybe both, but I'm just glad I didn't let this snow leave without me going for a run unit. I've regretted not running at all in December. Christmas time is usually my favorite time to run... I love looking at all of the Christmas lights and the cool crisp air... I feel like I've wasted it this year. But maybe I've done exactly what my body and soul needed me to do... I've trained so hard for so long, and not allowed myself to heal from the changes and losses that I've experienced... Maybe this was just a time to recover as it all caught up with me. Running has changed a lot for me since last Spring when my running partner moved out of my life. The dynamic of fellowship and support that I held so dear vanished almost overnight, and it left me reeling. I'm still not completely over it... And I don't know when I will be, but I am working to give running a rebirth in my life. I'm ready for it to evolve with me into whatever I need it to be... I just know that I do need it. Ran two miles, non-stop, in my neighborhood at 7 PM with 25 degree air outside. Looking forward to the next journey. Pray I stay motivated and inspired.