Monday, December 17, 2012

Throwback... The Underwear Incident...

This past August, I had the pleasure of taking the Herd (minus LLL and the Husband, who stayed home due to bedtime reasons) to a Biscuits Baseball game (thanks to my parents' generosity... they loaned us their skybox for the evening) with one of my all-time favorite professors from college, Dr. Bob Evans, and his lovely wife Ruth, as well as another great professor, Dr. Matt Jordan and HIS Herd (I love letting my herd romp with other larger families.... it's fun to watch the chaos and laughing that ensues).

We all were having a FINE time.....we ate tons of delicious, catered food (I personally adored the Blue-cheese macaroni and cheese) watched baseball, let the kids play on the playground that approximately 35 too many other children were also playing on, and had a great time with the team mascot, Big Mo, who came and kind of hung out in our skybox, as opposed to the usual "drop-by for pictures and hug the kids bit).

It was awesome. And then, I smelled a smell. A smell that does NOT go with a great time at a baseball game.

The Princess pooped in her pants. And she was wearing Ariel the Mermaid undies... not a disposable pull up. For the first time in a long time, I was unprepared for this, because she had been doing a great job with her potty-training, so I left the diaper bag in the car, because LLL wasn't with us. BIG mistake.... and one that I was stupid for making, because this same short-sightedness has caused many stressfully stinky panic attacks in the past. Ugh.

So I ask Matt if he had a pull-up tucked away in his bag ( with a herd of kids of his own, it was a possibility).... he didn't, so I went door to door on the Suite level, asking parents of small children if they had an extra diaper, pull-up, etc in a creepy, Trick or Treating from Hell sort of way.... I even thought about asking one lady if she had any Depends, but I decided that was rude, so I moved on to another tactic. Which I must say, is pretty freaking brilliant.

As a practical parent of many, I am like a boy scout when it comes to solving these kinds of problems and will do whatever I have to do to solve it. The world is my oyster, and I am like a diaper MacGyver (LLL had to wear a t-shirt that I folded into a diaper after one of her carseat explosions). In my mind, if she had been wearing pants/shorts, I would have simply cleaned her up and tossed the undies and let her go commando under the shorts. But she was wearing a sundress. And I could NOT let her walk around underwear-less in a sundress.... especially since she loves to pull her dress up at inopportune moments.

I walked back into our skybox, and looked at Sundance. Then suddenly it hit me.... he had underwear AND shorts. Butch Cassidy wasn't an option, as his underoos would have slipped right off of her. So I demanded he give me his Batman underwear. The horrified look on his face was priceless, but I meant business. He even tried to run away. But that never works with me.... he should know that by now.

I pulled him in the corner, stripped him down, put his shorts back on and gave the Princess the Batman underwear. She proudly showed everyone who would look. Poor Sundance was mortified. And I told Dr. Evans and Miss Ruth about what happened, and they laughed and laughed. He was pleased (if not, he hid his horror behind laughter) to be a part of and bear witness to a Herd Management incident in the making.